This was a rant I had posted on facebook a couple of years which unfortunately I still see today (smfh). So I thought let me repost this:
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, black or white, Jewish or Buddhist. I come to present and report to you a certain trend that I’ve been seeing in a lot of house music parties. I have noticed this trend growing rapidly and I think it’s starting to spread like a disease in these events and it needs to be stopped immediately.
What I am talking about?
Ladies and gentlemen I am talking about a certain disease and trend in house music parties that I will like to call: “I am too hot to be in this party a.k.a. “I am too stoosh/fancy” a.k.a. “I am more important than everyone else here” a.k.a. “Ewww why are they wearing sneakers with those jeans.” House music lovers you’ve seen this. That girl or group of girls who look like they dressed for a wedding reception in their high heel shoes, expensive dresses and who stand around looking at people disgusting while everyone is partying in their running shoes, jeans, shirts, baseball hats. Or those dudes who act like their they are from the Godfather who stand like a statue in the middle of the dance floor purposely getting in the way of dancers and who screw their face when bumped into them. Or worse, when the DJ the plays a well known house music tune that a number of people know and they just stand there with his confused look like “What is this? I don’t know this song!” I’ve been seeing this trend happening a lot lately and quite frankly it is pissing me off.
Last weekend some friends and myself went to go see DJ Dennis Ferrier in Montreal. He played a great set, the music was phenomenal, and the vibe was cool. Unfortunately the “I am too hot for this party” disease slowly percolated through the dance floor which somewhat ruined the vibe.
So to those who may not be familiar with house music or who might even suffer from this disease here are some important tips to follow:
1) Dress code: You dress to dance. Therefore, sneakers, runners, hats, sweat tops, jeans, shorts, etc. is what you will see. No hushpuppies, no “fuck me boots” no prom dresses, no three piece suits, etc. When coming to a house music event most people come there to dance, not to pose like they are a Page 8 Sears catalogue model.
2) Drop the attitude. Attitude is prohibited in any form of house music party because house music unites people. If you cannot understand this then you should not come to a house music party.
3) Standing like statues is also prohibited: Remember people come here to dance. Standing in the middle of the dance floor as if you are security annoys a lot of dancers which leads me to the next point.
4) Everyone is equal. You paid the exact same money as the next dude or girl who came into the club. Likewise you paid the same amount for your drinks like the next person. Therefore drop the superior inferior attitude. Just like your dress or three piece suit you got from that expensive store, it’s ugly.
5)Don’t be surprised if total strangers start talking to you. Again this is a positive attribute to house music. It unites people and likely you will end up talking and chatting up with people who are also feeling the music.
6) This is especially for the young cats. Do your house music research please! It hurts my soul when I see a house DJ play a classic house tune and some of these new kids just stand there like “huh?” This occurred last week when I was in Montreal seeing Dennis Ferrier. Dennis Ferrier played “Good life” by Inner City. Tell me why my friends, myself and maybe four other people around us were the only people who knew the lyrics to that song while everyone danced to it lost thinking “What song is this?” Till this day it burns my soul.
7) Certain house music songs will evoke either a) everyone singing together b) everyone doing the soul clap or c) doing the bus stop a.k.a. electric slide. Be prepared to do one or all of the above. If not, then get out the way and let the true lovers step in.
8) VIP? There is no such thing as VIP in a house music jam. The “Very Important People” are the patrons who paid their full admission to the club to the support the DJ, the scene and the music.
I am sure there are more things to post that I have forgotten but it is important this disease be controlled and cured. Remember house music is suppose to unite people not divide people. You don’t like house music or you find it is not your cup of tea? I am sure you can find another club that will play your Ke$ha, Usher or Lady Gaga that will help enhance your “15 minute socialite fame.” that you always wanted. But to be frank, I think I speak for all true house music lovers and when I say this: “Fuck off and leave your bitchassness attitude at home. Your kind is not welcomed in OUR HOUSE.”
Disgruntled House Music Lover
Dwight Barrett aka Medsoulbrother