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Monthly Archives: October 2012

So you’re in your 30s and still single? Join the club!

Remember when you were in your late teens you had pre-planned your whole life?  You vouched that after graduating you would either move out from home or you would go to either college or your university and then move out once you graduated.  You would either find your own place or shack with your best friends and live the great single life until you eventually found the perfect one.   You then vouched that by your late 20’s to your 30s you would be married, happy and start a family with that big house and the white picket fence.  Everyone would be happy especially you would be happy.

But that dream does not go out as plan.

You are in your late 20s, and have gone in and out of relationships still trying to find that perfect one.  You still vouch that by the  time you hit 30 you would be married or have kids.  Then the big 3-0 hits and then you feel like your life is over. You still think that there is hope but you get discouraged by family who constantly question why you are in your 30s and not married or had any kids yet?  The pressure hits you and then you start forcing yourself into relationships and situations that were not made to be and then you become even more depressed.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 2012…where a lot of people who are in their 30s are single or may not have any kids yet.     So why is this the case?  Why aren’t we following that “traditional trend” that by a certain age you have to be married with kids?  After having this discussion with a lot of my friends, a number of themes keep coming up which though some might consider an excuse, play a huge relevant role.

First, the meaning of marriages and relationships these days have simply changed.   Remember back in the day when people got married, they stayed together regardless of the situation?  Heated arguments always were resolved later on and there was always an understanding.  Today people can argue about whom did not replace the toilet paper roll  and boom! A divorce.  People and society today has become angrier, hostile and egotistical that they forget that others exist around them.  It’s human nature that we get upset  when things don’t go our way but the level of exasperation about not having our way has almost shot up the roof.  My parents have been married for 37 years and trust me the amount of fights and arguments I’ve seen them go through they could have easily been divorced 10 times!  But guess what? They knew that eventually they would forgive one another and move on because that was said during the marriage vows:  “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part.”  Seems like the better for worse part people forgot about.

A second reason why relationships and marriages seem to fail and that a lot of people are now single is that people don’t work to live…they live to work.  Our jobs have constantly taken a toll on most of our lives.  Demanding jobs and pressures sometimes make your social life not existent.  If you want to be a successful employee at work or get that promotion it sometimes it involves working long crazy hours that therefore impede on your social life.  For others, with hard financial times, one might have to work two sometimes three jobs just to make ends meat which makes having a social life difficult because either you don’t have the time or you simply just can’t afford it.

A third reason why there seems to be a lot of relationship issues is simply, people today are egocentric and greedy.  Face it, everybody today is always saying, “I gotta do me, first. I come first, I gotta take care of me.”  Taking care of yourself is one thing but only focusing on yourself and simply ignoring everyone else and shutting out everyone is problematic.  When this attitude of  “I’m too good for anyone” persists it sometimes leaves you pretty by yourself.   This also so called selfish attitude also leads some people to cheat on their partners because it is only their feelings and desires that matter and if their partner can’t satisfy their desires and feelings, they can easily find it someone else who can.

A fourth reason…social media. You are probably wondering how and why would social media play apart?  The Internet is World Wide Web for people to easily connect, especially discreetly.  Apart from social sites such as facebook and twitter to name a few, there are other social websites that allow people to interact with others either publicly or discreetly.  Partners can now spend anonymous time interacting with other people who might fulfill or share the same fantasies that perhaps their partner may not share or like.  I am not blaming the internet on a whole but you have to admit our parents generation did not have the internet and they survived their marriage and with the technology with texting, instant messaging and the internet, one can easily interact others in a discretely way.

Times have changed a lot but with these changes it does not mean that being single is a bad thing.  Those who are still single plan to get married one day and have kids, but they like myself ideally would like to do it with the person who they truly love and are connected with and know that they will not have to worry about filing for a divorce a couple of years later because either you forgot to put down the toilet seat or dirty all the dishes and didn’t clean them up.  Being single should not be a crime or a punishment or something ridiculed.  So what if you are single and over 30? It just means that you have not found that ideal person yet.   And when they come they will.  Age ain’t nothing but a number but being in love and sharing and caring about that true soul mate does.

Dwight aka Medsoulbrother

 
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Posted by on October 25, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Jamaican Canadian Study on Nurses Published

After months and months of hard work our nursing study is now published!!!! Professor Samuels-Dennis, fellow York student and friend Melanie York, and myself spent months and months working on a study that is now published in a book called: JAMAICA IN THE CANADIAN EXPERIENCE. A MULTICULTURALIZING PRESENCE by Carl E. James and Andrea Davis.

Our study is in Chapter 5 entitled: The Transformational Influences of Jamaican Nurses on the Canadian Health Care System. For those of us who live in Canada, particularly in Ontario, we have seen an influx of immigrants and visible minorities through many work forces but nursing seems particularly for Jamaicans has seen to be more prevalent. Our study not only looks into the past but it also looks in the future and hopefully provides a hindsight of how Jamaicans and other visible minorities can make s positive change and influence to the health care system.

Thanks to Prof Samuels-Dennis and Mel for all the hard and great work particularly between juggling clinical (and my three jobs) at once. Also thanks to all those who help make this study possible. The book is currently available for purchasing. I am so excited about this !! 🙂 ( Now a second book published for me.)

You can view the book here.  It is also available on amazon to order.
http://www.fernwoodpublishing.ca/Jamaica-in-the-Canadian-Experience/
 
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Posted by on October 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Excerpt from second novel …

Here’s a sneak preview from my second novel :)Hope you enjoy

Dwayne stepped closer. “Belinda, please, put down the gun.”
Belinda’s hands trembled. “Dwayne, stay the fuck away from me! Stay the fuck away from me before I blow your brains out!”
“Belinda,” Natasha said. “You need to calm down.”
Belinda quickly pointed the gun at her. “Shut up bitch! I hate you!!”
Blake eyes widened. “Belinda stop it!”
“No, I hate her!” Belinda cried. “She gets to have a good man by her side and I get some oversized muscle steroid injected freak who doesn’t know how to fucking give me good sex!”
Dwayne felt his ego crushed. “Belinda stop it! You are fucking acting irrational! Put down the gun!”
Belinda swung the gun again at Dwayne. “No I won’t!! You are psycho! Dwayne! You are so psycho that you found me here!! How the hell did you find me here?!”
“Because when I came back home you were not there and I noticed that the computer was on you had it on mapquest. It had this address marked and I did not know what address it was. So I followed it.”
“Bullshit.” Blake said. “You knew where I lived because you sent me those psycho messages.”
“For the last time, I did not send those messages asshole!” Dwayne yelled. “Did you not hear that Belinda said she sent them?”
Natasha slowly eased towards the door.
Belinda noticed and aimed her gun at her. “Where the fuck do you think you are going?”
Natasha froze.
Blake threw his hands up in the air. “Belinda, what are you doing? Do you realize what youa re doing? Do you?!”
“Blake please, no one cares about me, not even you.”
Fustration and guilt filled Blake’s eyes. “So you are doing this for attention?”
“Blake I just needed your support.”
“Belinda, professional help can do that for you.”
“No!!!”
“Belinda,” Dwayne instructed. “For the last time, put down the gun. How do you think Troy will feel about this?”
Belinda quickly aimed her gun back at Dwayne. “Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!! You took him away from me remember? You said that I will never have him again!” You stole my child away from me!”
“Belinda I took him away because of what you did!” Dwayne said.
“I hate you!” Belinda said. “I fucking hate you!!”
With one quick move, Dwayne grabbed Belinda’s arm. A shot went off.
Natasha screamed.
Dwayne and Blake quickly charged Belinda and wrestled her to the ground.
“Let me go!!!” Belinda yelled.
Everyone’s hands were on the gun as Dwayne and Blake continued wrestling the gun out of her hand. Another shot went off before Dwayne squeezed Belinda’s arm with enough force that the the gun dropped out of her hand. Dwayne quickly scooped Belinda away and wrestled her to the ground.
Belinda cried.
Blake froze.
And Natasha laid . . . . in a pool of blood.

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Rules of the Pharmacy

RULES OF THE PHARMACY.

Though I am now a Registered Nurse, when I use to work as a pharmacy technician there were a lot things that use to irritate me.  This was an old blog I had posted a number of years ago. I only thought this would be fair to not only my fellow pharmacy workers but to the educated and uneducated people who come to any pharmacy. I now present the rules and regulations of a pharmacy that all people should know courtesy of moi.

1. We are pharmacy not a fast food joint. Therefore don’t expect your prescription to be ready in five minutes. There is a reason why we tell you 10 to 20 minutes. Though the actual act of filling the prescription might only take five minutes the following can always occurs a) there are a number of prescriptions ahead of yours which most customers for some reason FAIL TO COMPREHEND AND THINK THAT THEIR PRESCRIPTION ONLY MATTERS AND NO ONE ELSE’S IS IMPORTANT b) the pharmacist might get a phone call from a doctor phoning a new prescription or a customer asking a question , c) the drug plan might go down therefore transmitting your drug claim to your insurance might take longer than expected, and so on. Do you rush your doctor when you are the clinic or doctor’s office? No I don’t think so.

2. The definition of a pharmacist are are health professionals who practice the science of pharmacy. In their traditional role, pharmacists typically take a request for medicines from a prescribing health care provider in the form of a medical prescription and dispense the medication to the patient and counsel them on the proper use and adverse effects of that medication. Pharmacy techinicans or assistants are pharmacy staff members who do job duties include providing medication and other health care products to patients. Pharmacy technicians often do the routine tasks associated with preparing prescribed medication and providing drugs to patients, and may also do compounding of medications. THEREFORE OUR JOB IS NOT TO a) do a price check on toliet paper, b) show us your rash on your breast or penis and expecting us to diagnose it for you, c) expect us to know what items are on sale and provide rain checks, d) do refunds and exchanges, e) know when the next shipment of Glade plug ins will be in stock

3. To further back up number 2, do not ask pharmacy staff their opinion on what best lipstick to wear or what perfume or cologne or what condom you should buy. You are in a pharmacy not on the Tyra Banks talk show.

4. When the pharmacist or pharmacy technician asks you when we ring up your prescription “Have you had this before?” and you respond nonchalantly “Yes I have” and then an hour later phone us asking us how to take the medication makes you look like a complete fool.

5. Phoning a pharmacy and asking questions regarding a prescription that you filled at another pharmacy again makes it’s challenging for us because we do not know your prescription history at your other pharmacy. It also begs to question, “Why are you not asking these questions at your own pharmacy?”

6. There is a reason why the pharmacy has large posted aisle signs above your head. SO YOU CAN FIND WHERE THINGS ARE. Do you walk into No Frills or Loblaws or Metro asking where the lettuce is or where the meat is?

7. Pharmacies particularly Shoppers Drug Mart has set dispensing fees. Please do not argue, bargain or complain that are fee is too high and we should give you a break. This is a pharmacy not Future Shop or Dr. Flea’s Flea Market.

8. Please understand that not every pharmacy has every drug stocked especially if it is a new drug or drug that is rarely dispensed. Therefore do not get your pants in a hissy fit if we might have to owe you or might have to order for the next day.

9. PEOPLE, there is a reason why there is indicator on your label notifies if you have any refills. If you know there are no refills on your medication, don’t wait until you’re on your last pill on a Friday night before calling us and expecting us to magically wave our wands and poof you will get your medication. It does not work like that. If there are no refills the doctor needs to be notified (and that is if they even do phone repeats.)

10. This one is particularly for the ladies. Ladies, ladies, ladies, your birth control has days of the week marked on them. If you see you are running low don’t wait until the last minute before attempting to refill it 30 minutes before the pharmacy closes or knowing when there are no refills. And no, we will not LEND YOU A PACK. I am sure your boyfriend can survive one night without docking his ship in your bay. Better yet, what about using condoms?????

11. Please also understand that when we call doctors to reauthorize repeats that they take some time to get back to us. Don’t think that once we call the doctor to authorize a repeat they will repeat right there and then. The secretary has to verify this with the doctor. Now multiply this by the number of other patients the doctor has and guess what? You have a long waiting list. That is why it might take a couple of days before they okay it. Asking us to constantly harass the doctor not only makes us look like a fool but it annoys the doctor and also makes you look like a desperate drug addict fool (especially if it is Tylenol 3.)

12. To all the muscle heads that consistently come into the pharmacy asking for 23 ½ gauge syringe needles claiming that they need it because they are diabetic . . .give it up! We know you are using it for steroids. (And a side note to the muscle heads, diabetics don’t use that size of syringes for their insulin.)

13. The cash register at the pharmacy is to only to ring up prescriptions or other products such as morning after pill, condoms, pregnancy test, etc. Please do not interrupt us while we are in the middle filling prescriptions so we can ring up your shopping list because you were too lazy go to the front or feel that your time is more important than us filling antibiotic for a sick child.

14. Please keep in my mind that the pharmacy staff are good with medications and are quite aware of what it is used for. Therefore don’t bring in a prescription used to treat an STI and lie to us saying that it is being used for a stomach pain. We know the difference and won’t look at you any different unless you make yourself look like a fool.

15. In Ontario, by law if there is an interchangeable generic drug we have to fill it. If you do not want it please let us know ahead of time. Also if you bring in a prescription and you want it name brand let us know. Please keep in mind that some drugs only come in generic form so you might have no choice.

16. READ THE PRESCRIPTION LABEL PROPERLY!!! Anything that says to take by mouth means to take by mouth. It does NOT mean to insert vaginally, rectally or in the ear or nose. Again ask questions before you take the prescription.

17. Gentlemen or should I say boys . .please take note. Though the morning after pill is now sold over the counter if it is sold kept behind the pharmacy we will not sell it to you unless your girlfriend or partner is with you. The morning after pill is not to be used “just in case something happens.” “Just in case something happens” is why you buy the condoms on sale in Aisle number 5.

18. Again to the gentlemen. If you are getting your prescription filled for Viagra or Cialis and you want to be discreet, here’s a tip: DON’T LEAVE THE EMPTY BOX LYING AROUND IN THE HOUSE AND THEN HAVING YOUR WIFE CALLING US INQUIRING ABOUT IT.

19. Not all products that you see on television commercials are available in pharmacies, particularly if you are watching a U.S commercial.

20. People, there is a reason why we ask if you have a drug plan FIRST BEFORE WE PROCESS YOUR PRESCRIPTION. We need this information prior to inputing your prescription. (This is more the customer’s employer’s fault for not educating them on this but) your drug plan is not like a debit or swipe card that we can swipe at the register when your prescrption is complete.

21.Too all human resource departments of customers please read this: Please research and educate THE CUSTOMER of their drug plan before they come to a pharmacy. Please educate them on what a deductibale is, dispensing fee and a co-pay is.

22. Respect the pharmacy staff. We know that you are sick, tired and already spent 3 hours waiting in the doctor’s office. If you waited 3 hours to see your doctor, waiting another 10 to 20 minutes won’t kill you.

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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