Tag Archives: feelings

Ford’s Forbidden Tweets (FOR THE GROWN FOLKS ONLY)

I’ve decided to showcase some of my what I like to call “After Dark” tweets. These are late night tweets I do which focus on love, romance, eroticism. They are explicit but not vulgar, sensual but not degrading. They are spontaneous, random and unapologetic.


I can still smell your scent on my lips, my goatee, hands and mouth. You had me swimming and the warmth of your water falls .

The snow is falling, but you are too busy falling for my words and I keep falling for you trap.

Her lips are telling me yes.. while my hands slip off that dress..but that time is rushing us..should I stay? Should she go? We don’t know

I was swimming upstream through her warm deep waters, caressing her shores, exploring every detail that connected us.

She tenses as he enters her body, her dome, her Queendom, allowing her golden gates to open. There is no inhibition

Ever had a woman so turned by your touch, your words, your motions, your movements that she splashes you with that waterfall?

You let my waves caress those shores… your forbidden shores… sun meets the moon… earth meets the star… passion meets the lust


You got a man, I got a woman. Neither whom are giving us that insatiable fix we give to each other. This is toxic, dangerous, but addicting

I can still taste you on my lips and on my tongue.

It’s amazing how words can induce forbidden thoughts.

I can only show you what my body has been craving for blasting its bullet into the moist depth folds of your flesh, your hidden secret.

Uncontrollable sensations numbs us both as I transcend into the deepness of your warm water.

Pleasure and thickness fills your eager walls while our eyes gaze at each other, searching, digging, discovering this thermal energy

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Posted by on December 3, 2013 in Uncategorized


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So you’re in your 30s and still single? Join the club!

Remember when you were in your late teens you had pre-planned your whole life?  You vouched that after graduating you would either move out from home or you would go to either college or your university and then move out once you graduated.  You would either find your own place or shack with your best friends and live the great single life until you eventually found the perfect one.   You then vouched that by your late 20’s to your 30s you would be married, happy and start a family with that big house and the white picket fence.  Everyone would be happy especially you would be happy.

But that dream does not go out as plan.

You are in your late 20s, and have gone in and out of relationships still trying to find that perfect one.  You still vouch that by the  time you hit 30 you would be married or have kids.  Then the big 3-0 hits and then you feel like your life is over. You still think that there is hope but you get discouraged by family who constantly question why you are in your 30s and not married or had any kids yet?  The pressure hits you and then you start forcing yourself into relationships and situations that were not made to be and then you become even more depressed.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 2012…where a lot of people who are in their 30s are single or may not have any kids yet.     So why is this the case?  Why aren’t we following that “traditional trend” that by a certain age you have to be married with kids?  After having this discussion with a lot of my friends, a number of themes keep coming up which though some might consider an excuse, play a huge relevant role.

First, the meaning of marriages and relationships these days have simply changed.   Remember back in the day when people got married, they stayed together regardless of the situation?  Heated arguments always were resolved later on and there was always an understanding.  Today people can argue about whom did not replace the toilet paper roll  and boom! A divorce.  People and society today has become angrier, hostile and egotistical that they forget that others exist around them.  It’s human nature that we get upset  when things don’t go our way but the level of exasperation about not having our way has almost shot up the roof.  My parents have been married for 37 years and trust me the amount of fights and arguments I’ve seen them go through they could have easily been divorced 10 times!  But guess what? They knew that eventually they would forgive one another and move on because that was said during the marriage vows:  “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part.”  Seems like the better for worse part people forgot about.

A second reason why relationships and marriages seem to fail and that a lot of people are now single is that people don’t work to live…they live to work.  Our jobs have constantly taken a toll on most of our lives.  Demanding jobs and pressures sometimes make your social life not existent.  If you want to be a successful employee at work or get that promotion it sometimes it involves working long crazy hours that therefore impede on your social life.  For others, with hard financial times, one might have to work two sometimes three jobs just to make ends meat which makes having a social life difficult because either you don’t have the time or you simply just can’t afford it.

A third reason why there seems to be a lot of relationship issues is simply, people today are egocentric and greedy.  Face it, everybody today is always saying, “I gotta do me, first. I come first, I gotta take care of me.”  Taking care of yourself is one thing but only focusing on yourself and simply ignoring everyone else and shutting out everyone is problematic.  When this attitude of  “I’m too good for anyone” persists it sometimes leaves you pretty by yourself.   This also so called selfish attitude also leads some people to cheat on their partners because it is only their feelings and desires that matter and if their partner can’t satisfy their desires and feelings, they can easily find it someone else who can.

A fourth reason…social media. You are probably wondering how and why would social media play apart?  The Internet is World Wide Web for people to easily connect, especially discreetly.  Apart from social sites such as facebook and twitter to name a few, there are other social websites that allow people to interact with others either publicly or discreetly.  Partners can now spend anonymous time interacting with other people who might fulfill or share the same fantasies that perhaps their partner may not share or like.  I am not blaming the internet on a whole but you have to admit our parents generation did not have the internet and they survived their marriage and with the technology with texting, instant messaging and the internet, one can easily interact others in a discretely way.

Times have changed a lot but with these changes it does not mean that being single is a bad thing.  Those who are still single plan to get married one day and have kids, but they like myself ideally would like to do it with the person who they truly love and are connected with and know that they will not have to worry about filing for a divorce a couple of years later because either you forgot to put down the toilet seat or dirty all the dishes and didn’t clean them up.  Being single should not be a crime or a punishment or something ridiculed.  So what if you are single and over 30? It just means that you have not found that ideal person yet.   And when they come they will.  Age ain’t nothing but a number but being in love and sharing and caring about that true soul mate does.

Dwight aka Medsoulbrother

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Posted by on October 25, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Being a New Graduate Nurse: The Feelings, Experiences and the Questions.

      You are a new graduate Registered Nurse starting out on your unit but let’s rewind six months ago when you went through some drastic changes that easily could have been a feature reality show on TLC or the Discovery channel: You’ve made it through your final year.  You pass your pre-grad, you graduate from your program, you walk across that podium and smile like you are constipated shaking the hands of the Dean Chancellor and everyone else on the faculty as you get that degree in your hand.  After celebrating that you are finally graduated, you go back studying like the world is going to end for that CRNE which seems to determine your fate no matter how you look at it.  You write the CRNE not remembering how you got to the examination centre, writing it or even remembering some of the questions but you keep on thinking what would happen if you did not pass the CRNE.  After six agonizing weeks of hell you get the best news of your life that you pass the CRNE so you are now an official Registered Nurse while at the same time landing a new graduate position in a hospital working as a nurse.

     So far so good right?

     But then reality hits.  You are now responsible for everything you do and I mean EVERYTHING.  You are now to trying to juggle what you learned in your four years of nursing plus squeezing in what your clinical teachers and what your pre-grad preceptor has taught you.  You try to remember the right ways that your lab and clinical teacher taught you but you find out that the department you work in does things a bit differently which sometimes causes your mind and thinking to do a summersault.  These are just a few things that as a new graduate nurse you are faced with and perhaps what many new grad nurses are faced with. When I got hired as a new graduate  in the emergency department I was like a child opening his first toy on Christmas morning.  I was happy, excited, contented, flabbergasted, the whole nine yards.  I mean come on, this is the ER we’re talking about right?     As with any job however, there are some challenges that you come across that over time you learn to overcome and adapt to.

      One of my obstacles I faced was prior to me being a new graduate, I worked in the ER as a clinical extern therefore creating job role conflict.  As a clinical extern, I was there to assist nurses and other staff members in the department with anything which included anywhere from helping changing a heavy patient to assisting in a code where I needed to help do chest compressions.  Being an extern was great because I was able to be everywhere and was always be able to jump in and help when the time needed.  Once I became a RN, the roles changed.  I had my own specific area, my own patient assignments therefore, I was only able to help out in my area.  I couldn’t just run off and help someone who needed help or I couldn’t simply stop what I was doing to go run off and do something; I had to prioritize. This was a challenge for some other staff in the department who forgot that I was now a RN and not a clinical extern and would sometimes grab me in the middle of the task and ask me to help them with something.  This leads to my second challenge, the responsibility.

      You now have complete responsibility on what you do which means that you have to triple check if not sometimes quadruple check your stuff to ensure that everything is done right.  I would not call this a challenge but it becomes a challenge when the amount of time used to triple check everything might work against you.  As a new graduate nurse, you will (and I still do) certain things slow because you are still learning.  The last thing you want to do is rush something fast to only find out later on that you made a mistake.  Though taking your time to do something is great, time as mentioned can work against you which leads me to another challenge that I personally face and continue to do so; time management.

     This is perhaps my biggest struggle that I have as a new graduate and likely a skill many other new graduates face.  It’s one thing when you have two or three patients or even four patients with your pre-grad instructor but when you are by yourself and have the responsibility of managing four patients in an environment where the turn over can potentially be fast (especially in the ER) it can be quite challenging.  I personally still find this a challenge for me because throughout my clinical experiences the time management skills I had and were taught throughout school were based on if I was on a floor or a unit.  When you are in a fast pace environment such as ER, you learn to adjust your time management skills to adapt to the fast pace environment.  For someone who is used to working at a constant speed and having time on their hand, this can be quite challenging (which I found out quite easily.)  Despite these challenges which I believe every new nurse will face, I will say that working in the ER has been a blessing. The staff here (and I mean entire staff from the physicians to the nurses to the unit clerks to the patient transport representatives to even the housekeeping staff)  all make the department a great place to work.

     So what advice do I have for upcoming new graduate nurses, pre-graduate students or current new graduates?  First, believe in yourself (I know I sound like a 3am Anthony Robbins self help infomercial) but seriously trusting yourself and having self confidence is key.  Everyone makes mistakes and if you don’t know the answer to something, ask.  As a number of fellow experienced nurses in my department have told me “a nurse who asks few questions are the ones that you want to be careful of instead of the ones who ask a lot of questions.”  Second, everyone has different learning patterns and ways on how you learn and do things.  It does not mean you are stupid, or dumb or slow, it just means you learn things differently.   This leads to my third advice, don’t feel discourage or better yet don’t let anyone make you feel discouraged.  I will admit I have these feelings while working as a new graduate and sometimes like a stubborn cold sore they tend to flare up again.  As a new graduate nurse it is very easy for you be discouraged.  You are working with other staff members who have more experience than you, you might have some nurses who give you that “you should know this by now” look, you sometimes feel nervous when talking to a doctor about a situation and don’t want to appear as a “newbie”, and sometimes even a patient might even question your ability because they can sense that you are fresh young and new.  As nurses, we are constantly learning everyday and our learning curve increases exponentially with our years of experience.  Try not to let someone’s words of discouragement get to you and if it does, focus on something positive.   A couple of weeks ago I was being attacked my own feelings of discouragement and began doubting myself as a good nurse.  Half way through my shift I heard two comments that made my day. “You did an awesome job today.” and “You were a really great nurse today, thanks for taking care of me.” Though for some that might mean a little pat on the back, for me it transformed and transcended my feelings of self doubt to encouragement.  You see, sometimes you worry over the biggest things when it’s the little things as a smile, and acknowledging someone that can make someone else’s day, and in turn yours.

      New graduate nurses should remember that we are now the upcoming new nurses for our health care.  We carry vast amount of knowledge as well as our new learnt experiences.  We are definitely not perfect ( no one is) but as we continue our new path and career we will be absorbing vast knowledge.   With time comes experience; don’t feel discouraged, mislead, and confused thinking that you are not a good nurse when you know deep down you are.  Remember a good nurse isn’t just a nurse who can just read off an ECG flawlessly, insert a Foley catheter with ease, predict an illness before the doctor can, insert an IV after the first try or able to have all their tasks and meds done ahead of schedule and have time to relax. A good nurse is also one that is able to make their patient smile, laugh and have that patient remember who you were and what you did for them, even it was something little like giving them a warm blanket or  asking them if their okay.

     Let’s now fast forward six months ahead.   You are no longer a “new graduate nurse.”  You are now a nurse working on your unit.  You are still learning new skills, tasks procedures but you now have learned to be confident.  More importantly, you push away your discouraging feelings and continue to believe that you are a good competent nurse that will provide the best care you can for your patient that day.  This is what passing that CRNE was for.  This is what graduating from your nursing program was for.  More importantly, this is what makes you stand out as a good nurse from others.  Don’t give up……give in.

Dwight Barrett RN. BSc. BscN. aka medsoulbrother


Posted by on September 15, 2012 in Uncategorized


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